Race Report: Inaugural Beer Mile World Championship

So here is the first race report from Driven Endurance… my attempt at the Beer Mile. Last night, December 3, 2014, was the first ever Beer Mile World Championship race here in Austin. For those of you that don’t know what a beer mile is, its a mile race around a track. Easy right? Well here’s the kicker, you have to chug a 12 oz beer before every lap! Here are the rules:

1) You have a 10 meter exchange zone in which to drink your beer
2) You must drink ALL of the beer or you are disqualified
3) Your beer must be at least 5% abv and not a light beer
4) If you puke it up, you have to run an extra lap immediately after the 4th lap, but you don’t have to drink a 5th beer

So here is my race report….

I did this with an Austin Tri Cyclist teammate and coworker of mine, Derek. We did not practice chugging, we did no running on the track, and most importantly, we had absolutely no idea what we were doing. When we showed up for the race, we had thought we could brink our own beer to drink but were promptly told that we were to drink the provided sponsor beer which neither of us had tried before. We showed up about 45 minutes before the race, got checked in, and spend the better part of the half an hour before the race doing various warm up routines to make sure the legs were loose enough to sprint around a track. At race time, they called us up to assign us our beer spot on the table, and to grab our first can. At this point, my heart is beating really fast purely from nervousness and I have a comical sense of regret for signing up for this to the point my teammate and I were just laughing at ourselves on the start line. Then the official race started walks up and its go time!

First lap:
I take the first swig of the first beer and have immediate regret… the beer was pretty warm and didn’t really taste good anyways, so after about half the beer, I had to take it down from my mouth for a second. I finish the beer towards the back of the middle of the pack and start working my way up the field. Running with beer in your stomach really isn’t nearly as hard as everyone said it would be. I come through the first lap in about 2 minutes.

Second lap:
Ok this is where it started getting hard to drink. Like really hard. At this point, I’m just in survival mode and I’m realizing just how much I don’t enjoy the taste of this beer. I burp a few times but get through it and head out for the second lap, which much like the first lap was not bad at all while running.

Third lap:
Don’t even want to talk about how bad this beer was. It took a while and this is the point where I decided to just take it easy and just drink the beer. I slowly finish the beer, come close to throwing it up, and run the third lap.

Fourth lap:
Again, this beer was getting exponentially worse each time. I ended up giving a mid race interview during this beer because I was going so slow and couldn’t stomach it. So maybe that will turn up on Flotrack pretty soon.┬áDerek puked during this exchange while I was looking at him and the camera operators swarmed him like parasites. It was pretty funny.┬áThe last lap, I finally feel like I’m going to puke while running. I get to the finish line in a ridiculously slow time and huddle over a fence waiting to throw up while the camera crews swarm everyone for post race reaction interviews.

All in all, the race was horribly painful, so I’ll be back next year with practice to redeem myself.